A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
