Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
