I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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