i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
