Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
