i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
