idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
