the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
