Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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