The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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