i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
