goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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