so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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