so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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