the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
