even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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