This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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