we're blogging at a bar
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
