I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
