Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
