the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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