Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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