Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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