so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
