I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
