There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
