I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
