Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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