Where is the hickey?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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