never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
