Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
