I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
