your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
