this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
