Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
