How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
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