It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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