Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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