Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I need a beard to bite.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
