why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
