Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
