I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
