i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
