I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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