Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
