had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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