would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
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