I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Randomize
