God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
