The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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