oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
