I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
